


To Be Loved

by Hisokas_House_Of_Cards



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Illumi's hurting, Jealousy, M/M, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29985633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hisokas_House_Of_Cards/pseuds/Hisokas_House_Of_Cards
Summary: Just Illumi venting in his journal
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	To Be Loved

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfic number two I'll be writing more soon

Why is that everytime any Zoldyck family member tries to make a friend or find someone to love, they are always told “NO.” What was it about being a Zoldyck that we could not have a friend to talk too or a lover to have and to hold? 

Mother always told me it was because Zoldycks’ do not need anyone, they are strong and we can always depend on family. But this wasn’t the case for me. Just like Killua, I too met someone. 

His name is Hisoka Murrow. And he is the craziest, fucked up in the head person I have ever met.

I love it! He should have been raised as an assassin, but he wasn’t so like whatever. Anyways, I thought this as I brushed my long black hair. Staring at myself in the mirror, putting a blankless expression on my face, pretending to be heartless, but deep down inside I too felt things. 

Things that not even mom could make go away, like the feeling I felt when I saw Chrollo and Hisoka hanging out with each other. 

It shouldn’t have bothered me at all, but it did and I hate myself for that.

I decided to ignore the feeling and go on about my business, though it still didn’t go away. 

You see the way I felt about Hisoka was a way that I never thought I could feel about anyone. I just wanted to be loved. I guess you could say I was accidentally in love with the wrong person.

That morning was no different. I had plans to see Hisoka and help him with a mission given to him by… you guessed it… that damn stupid Chrollo. Believe me I could see why Hisoka liked him so much, but I was so much better than him. I had pretty hair, that I loved to have brushed. What was so great about Chrollo?

Like, “Oh wow he’s the leader of the Phantom Troupe, big fucking wow!”

I can be better than the troupe itself. I’m an assassin for fuck’s sake. 

What I didn’t know about going Hisoka was that Chrollo was tagging along. Of course when I saw him and Hisoka holding hands, my mind went blank. Hisoka, must have noticed this because as soon as he saw my face, he smiled and squeezed Chrollo’s hand. Now he was just being Hisoka at this point. Nothing strange.

“Hello Illumi,” Chrollo greeted me with his stupid devilish smile. 

“Yeah,” I replied because no I was not going to give a big old greeting with a hug. 

We started walking down the street and I immediately knew where we were going. “Why are we heading to Heaven’s Arena,” I asked HISOKA. But Chrollo answered, “Apparently one of our troupe members was seen here betraying us.”

Once again I was talking to Hisoka. Hisoka Murrow?

Ever heard of him?

Cause if you haven’t Chrollo then you need some help. 

“Well thank you Hisoka,” I sassed and Hisoka chuckled. 

“Sorry,” he muttered and I could tell Chrollo was starting to get uncomfortable. Good as he should. I didn’t want him to start getting comfortable with Hisoka. I figured I was doing good because he ended up walking faster, leaving me with Hisoka. “Whats wrong with you?” “I’m fine,” I muttered and sped up. 

As soon as we arrived the whole first floor, stepped out of our way. Or mostly Hisoka and Chrollo’s way. “Hello Chrollo.” 

“Good day Hisoka.”

“Chrollo, Hisoka good to see you two.”

Everyone seemed to know the two, finally we made it to the second floor we were met by a blonde haired girl.

“Chrollo we don’t know what happened, but we do have the guy that knows about us,” she said and kicked the guy laying on the floor, he cried out in pain. “Your hurting him,” I said casually and the girl frowned at me. 

“No shit dumbass,” she snapped. “Just saying,” I groaned. 

By the time we left, I was insulted multiple times by the troupe and got myself into trouble. 

I might have killed a couple of people, but it didn’t matter. 

At least not to Hisoka, but Chrollo seemed impressed.

“Does he always kill people,” I heard Chrollo ask. Hisoka replied with a small nod and wrapped his arm around my neck. “He’s an assassin of course!” I smiled, proud of myself at the fact that Hisoka actually acknowledged me. 

Eat shit Chrollo! The man only looked at me, in my eyes. Like he could read my thoughts. 

Which I wanted him to because if he could read minds then he must have known that I was cursing him out. So if you saw that then I’m glad Chrollo, go kiss my ass. 

As we were leaving I heard people question Chrollo if I was a new spider of the Phantom Troupe. I just snorted and strided away. Chrollo on the other hand, looked as if he was thinking about it. 

My first thoughts were, “Oh hell no!” I quickly slipped away before Chrollo could dare mutter the words I dreaded. I could not imagine working under him. Hearing his smug voice all day or get bossed around by the stupid blonde haired bitch. 

So maybe I was a bit jealous, if I didn’t make that obvious already.

There’s just times I wanna scream into my pillow every time I’m home. But this is fine. I was fine. Everything that was happening was fine…. I was two seconds away from killing Chrollo and murdering the entire Phantom Troupe including the blonde haired girl. No I’m not over it. Leave me be! Anyways Hisoka managed to find me, even though I tried getting away. “Dear God, why why why was I cursed with such a stupid creepy clown who manages to find me without fail,” I screamed into the air. Hisoka laughed and slid next to me on the floor. 

“You don’t like Chrollo huh?” No shit, sherlock. 

“No, No I don’t. I’m surprised you even noticed. Considering how the only thing that manages to get through your brain is stalking Gon or murdering people.” 

“Very funny,” he said.

“I’m only being honest,” I said and stood up. 

“How’d you even find me?” “This is one of the Phantom Troupe’s hiding place.” Holy shit… “Oh,” was all I could say because right then and there I suddenly felt like I was being watched. “We should go,” I said and grabbed Hisoka’s arm, yanking him away. 

“Wait Lumi!” I stopped and bit my lip. “C’mon,” I said, but still stood there. “Do you like me?” 

“Now’s not the time Hisokaaaaaa.” I whined and pouted a bit. “Just answer me,” he said. “Really right now?” 

“I-I,” I hesitated. What was I supposed to do? 

“God damn it… YES!” He looked shocked and that’s when I yanked him out of the building. By the time we were far away from both the arena and the hiding spot, Hisoka finally stopped me.

“You like me?” Hisoka was looking at me hesitantly. 

“I do,” I murmured and he smiled. One step and our lips met. It kind of rhymes just keep reading it over nd over. Anyways, yeah we kissed and I could have sworn the song To Be Loved was playing in the background…

“Illumi dear let’s go,” Hisoka said. He came into their bedroom, dressed in his usual attire. “Right,” Illumi said and closed his journal, shoving it underneath the pillow, he stood up and let Hisoka braid his long hair. 

“Thanks baby,” he said and kissed Hisoka.

“Alright Lumi. We’re going to be late to our dinner date if you keep writing in that stupid journal.” Illumi put a hand to his chest and gasped. “I am offended Hisoka Murrow! I write a lot about us.” Hisoka chuckled 

“I’m sure you do,” he said and pulled Illumi onto the bed.

“I thought we were going to be late for our date?” “Yeah, yeah.” Illumi for once in his entire lifetime, felt loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed whatever this was


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